A change of pace - December 12, Day 259, 18.3 miles, Wellton, AZ

When the going gets tough, find your inner strength. You don’t know what you have until it’s gone. When you fall off the horse, get back on with a smile. They are all hackneyed sayings yet they ring deep and true when they happen to you.

I have found my inner strength. I have rediscovered my passion and love of running. I have gotten back on the road after it hurt me. All this has happened over the past 6 days when I have not been able to run.

I am walking.

Someone who is running across the country is not supposed to walk! I know that’s what you’re thinking. But, due to some knee issues (I think actually it's patellar tendinitis!??!?!) that sprung up on me last Sunday out of the blue, I have to walk. I feel like this is a sign. Besides the obvious thought, “well, dumby, did you really think that you would come out of running for 9 months, 18 miles a day, injury-free,” there is something more to this. Why would my knee spring up with only 3 weeks and 312 miles to go before I hit the shores of San Diego????!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!!!

I have realized why.

It’s because when you want something bad enough, you won’t quit. When you are so close to taking your last steps, you SURE AS HECK won’t give up. Of all times for me to feel pain, it’s now, and it has GOT to be a test. Sir Edmund Hillary, the first man to summit Mount Everest, dubs something known as the “Hillary Step.” When Hillary found himself one step to take before reaching Everest’s peak, he realized that it would be his hardest moment, his hardest step of them all. His journey would be complete, he would have DONE it. The Hillary Step refers to one’s last step or series of steps before the so-called “finish,” and this step or steps are supposed to be the hardest.

I am experiencing my own Hillary Step.

I am walking 18 miles a day, sometimes I can manage to run a few 30-60 second segments, sometimes even 25 of those short segments (!!!!!), but overall, walking it is. I have to admit, I didn’t train for walking! Getting through 6-7 hours of walking a day is tortuous. I am being honest:-) All I want to do is run again, and now that I can’t, I just know that this is my test. I DO realize that it could be a lot worse, like I could have lost my legs or gotten hit by a truck. And, I know that there are people out there walking 25++++ miles a day. But for me, in my moment, walking out here is exhausting.

BUT...

I AM MAKING IT TO SAN DIEGO ON DEC 29th!!!! All I have to do is put one foot in front of the other and push my mind. Even though walking is completely boring out here in the desert (I’m not going to kid myself into thinking otherwise!); even though I sometimes get a burning sensation in my chest that is frustration, boredom, and exhaustion that makes me want to just burst out crying; even though I have succumbed to audibly chanting a “heal heal heal” chant to my knee when I am out alone on the road, I am still going to take the steps. I am going to take my Hillary Step, because I want this bad enough.

Don’t ever let anyone or anything (unless it’s life or death, etc.) keep you from achieving your goals and dreams. I have learned that over the past 8 months and continue to learn that every day, every step.

Keep taking your steps...and keep your head UP!!!!

Me walking, even though some stupid sign tells me not too...smirk:-P

Love,
kt

P.S. I also think it is HILARIOUS that of all places I have to walk 18 miles a day and spend 7 hours out on the road, it’s in the DESERT!!!!!!! Imagine in the movies when people are lost and delirious while walking under the hot sun and across sand dunes. It’s not that bad, but maybe a little like that...HAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!!